I recently read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* by Mark Manson.
The title suggests not caring.
That’s not really what the book is about.
It’s about choosing what deserves your attention.
And that hit me harder than I expected.
Because I don’t struggle with not having enough things I care about.
Quite the opposite.
Ideas.
Work.
People.
Projects.
Opinions.
Possibilities.
I can care about all of them.
And that’s probably the problem.
Caring about everything is not the same as caring deeply.
For a long time, I thought being open to possibilities was a strength.
And it is.
Until every possibility becomes something you feel responsible for.
Every idea could become a project.
Every project could become something bigger.
Every opinion deserves consideration.
Every opportunity might be the one you shouldn’t miss.
Eventually, you’re not choosing anymore.
You’re just reacting.
The thing I took from the book isn’t stop giving a fuck.
It’s: Give fewer, better fucks.
Decide what deserves your energy — and accept that choosing something also means neglecting something else.
That second part matters.
Because we talk a lot about what we want to do.
Much less about what we are willing not to do.
Maybe direction is mostly subtraction.
This feels especially relevant in creative work.
Good ideas rarely die because nobody cared.
Sometimes they die because too many people cared about too many things.
Will everyone understand it?
Will the client like it?
Will people agree?
Is it safe enough?
Is it familiar enough?
Can we make it work for everyone?
One compromise is usually harmless.
Twenty compromises become the work.
And suddenly something that once had a point of view has none.
That’s pretty close to why I started using the phrase:
Stop Making Ordinary Safe Stuff.
Ordinary work rarely starts ordinary.
It gets there.
Carefully.
The question changed for me.
Instead of asking:
What else could I do?
I’m trying to ask:
What do I care about enough to accept the problems that come with it?
Because every choice comes with problems.
Creative independence has problems.
Leading people has problems.
Building something of your own has problems.
Making work with a point of view definitely has problems.
The goal isn’t to find a life without friction.
It’s to choose friction that feels worth it.
And maybe that’s the actual subtle art.
Not caring less.
Caring more deliberately.
